Zach from the United States
I grew up in a very isolated part of the suburbs outside of Boston. I had no close neighbors so I spend a lot of time playing by myself. I had a good collection of toys, all of the GI Joes, and I loved to act out interrogation scenes with them. There was this character in the GI Joe universe called the Baroness; she was the sexy intelligence officer for the villains. She wore a full-body leather cat suit and stiletto boots.
I used to play with my GI Joes and the Baroness would often have one of the good guys tied up. I would use rubber bands to tie them up on the desk. Then, I would take a lamp and interrogate them, gradually melting them. Or, I would bury them up to their neck in the sandbox.
As I started to get into my masturbatory phase, I started to conduct interrogation scenes on myself. When I was eleven or twelve, I would go to my bathroom (I had my own bathroom thankfully) and play out these scenes I had conducted with my GI Joes. There would be humiliating prison rape scenes where I would put a drum stick up my ass or pee in a cup and make myself drink it. I would pretend I really hated it, going ohhh noooo, nooo don’t make me do it!! But of course I was the only person there.
I knew from pretty early on that I was into interrogation and power. Those games were fun with my GI Joes and I knew I wanted to be tied up as a prisoner and forced to talk.
I would get a lot of these ideas from James Bond movies and things like that. If you actually start looking at popular media with an eye towards fetish, it’s all over the place. There is not an action film out there where someone isn’t tied up or have a light shone in their face at some point. I don’t know where I got the piss drinking from though. Or shoving a drum stick up my ass. That actually used to freak me out a lot, I used to think I was gay. I got over that fear at least.
Immediately it became a part of my sexual landscape but I have no idea where it came from. There’s no good reason for it really. I was not exposed to any particular violence as a kid. I was not abused and neither of my parents ever hit me. I did have a rocky relationship with my step dad, mainly because he was cheating on my mom like crazy and everybody knew. There’s that but that’s not specifically going to manifest as BDSM fantasies but those fantasies came as soon as the sexual switch came on.
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