Zach from the United States
When it came to my parents, there was zero shame imposed on me about my emotions, physical stuff, sex, or anything else. In particular between me and my mom. I knew way too much about her relationship with the guy I later found out was not my biological father and in part because of that, I never had the feeling I had to keep anything from her.
My parents knew that I was starting to hit puberty and was starting to be interested in girls. I was also fairly open about the fact that I was starting to feel sexual urges. If you are not told having or sharing those feelings is wrong, you don’t think that it’s bad or inappropriate.
When I was maybe ten or eleven, I got ahold of an old VHS porno at camp. I watched it with some friends of mine and then later on, many times by myself. Even though I hadn’t yet gotten to the point where I was ejaculating, I knew it was coming because boys talk and everyone wants to brag about finally ejaculating. Somewhere in all of those things that boys say, there is a bit of true information and a bunch of bullshit. I at least knew enough to know that the ejaculation thing was real and I was very much looking forward to this moment. I knew something was supposed to happen and it wasn’t quite happening yet, but it was going to soon. It created this encompassing urge for half a year. I just wanted it to happen so badly.
During the summers while I was growing up, my parents and I would take these trips to see different amusement parks.That year we were going to Cedar Point, which is outside of Cincinnati, somewhere in the Midwest. I got my own hotel room and for whatever reason, that night I really wanted to see a porn. I knew if I rented one, it would show up on the bill and my parents would see. So, I went over to my parents and asked their permission to get a hotel room porno because no shame right?
I remember this experience so precisely. I went through and watched the first five minutes of each one for free and then settled on the one I liked best. It was something like Hollywood Strippers “N”, it was one of a series. It was just shots inside of a strip club, girls doing strip teases, very vanilla. There was one outfit one girl was wearing that really stuck out to me. It was just strands of little pink pearls in a little gown. She had it hiked up over her hips and was shaking her ass with various layers of pearls falling around her ass. At that moment, I had my first ejaculation.
I can even recall the taste in my mouth. That coppery taste where all of the blood vessels are dilating under you tongue. You can even taste the blood a bit from all of the dilation. Then just wave of “it’s happening! It’s finally happening YESSS!” I was so proud. I think I did it three times that night. Winding back to that same scene with those pink pearls.
I was so excited I told my parents about it the next morning. We were in line for the park and I bursted out, “oh my god the best thing happened last night, I had my first ejaculation!” I don’t think I used that language exactly but I was bragging about it. I can do this new thing!
This is the level of zero shame that I grew up with sexually.
I think they may have told me,
“You may not want to share that too publicly, you can tell us, but maybe keep it more to yourself.”
There was never any kind of feeling that I shouldn’t be telling them or that it was weird at all for me to be sharing these kinds of things.
Read more from Zach here
Or, read about how Zach’s mom dealt with her own coming of age here